DuhLaid

I'm stuck in the Louis Armstrong Airport. That's not in Heaven by the way, it's in New Orleans. My flight has been delayed again like if they knew I wanted to go home and rest. I'm in overall good spirits though. I saw a really skinny looking guy that looked like "The Rock" (Dwayne Johnson)after chemo, and I saw a black lady that looked like the rapper "Peppa" after a two year long fried Ice Cream bender. Her butt looks like two potbelly pigs wrestling under a blanket labeled "Juicy". Now there's some truth in advertising. Both of those made me smile.

Only two of us at this gate waiting on a flight. Me and some lawyer guy. He's watching that blond lady on Headline News channel whos really Southern and talks way too loud and asks really obvious questions like, "Sarah? Do you think Tiger Woods wife is shocked n junk bout all them floosies coming out of the closet saying that Tiger didn't wash his golf balls?" Ok. I'm watching that fat cow a lttle bit too. well I was. Now that left wing communist whore is on. No, not that one. Joy Bay Whore. I just pray that somehow, someway, I'm able to hate her just a little more.
She just said "Alleged Waitress". Either you are or you are not, right? I think that walking sack of diseased protates meant "alleged Mistress".
Anyway.
Now there's another guy at the gate. I've decided he's Filopino. I know it's not really up to me to decide, but he does look Filopeno-ish. I normally wouldn't give a person by person update but 1. I'm bored and 2. He sat down and started staring at me. At first, when I'd look up, feeling that someone was glaring a hole onto my manbreasts, and then after I caught him the last few times he smiled at me like I knew the punchline. I smiled back politely. He smiled bigger. Maybe he thinks I'm that gay U.S. Senator. I'm not, for the record.