It’s Been a while. Did you Miss me? What did you do with your time in my absence? Hmm? By the way I’ve lost so much weight that I can imitate that guy from Silence of the Lambs by tucking the Junk and pushing the Man-Teats together. That’s good right? Also my chin doesn’t look like its pregnant with a litter of kittens, which is also a positive. Been traveling a bit more than I’ve done lately with the new company. That’s because what I’m selling, ain’t nobody buying. Bosses have been getting a little impatient I think. Need to land a biggun. Do any of you know of a biggun I can land? That’s sales talk for, “OH PLEASE GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME LAND AN ACCOUNT! I DON’T WANNA SELL MY HOUSE BECAUSE I HAVEN’T MADE A SALE!”, only less needy.
Ok. Here’s something less depressing than me throwing away a perfectly good career:
Are you ready? Ok. Here goes:
• The thing you need to bear in mind when discussing the incredibly intricate psychological plotting in Black Swan is that I'll never see it.
• You know what makes me have to pee like a racehorse? Racehorse drinks. Just kidding. Four beers.
• Have you noticed that God only “copilots” vehicles that are barely running?
Until next time.
;)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
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