Time to make the Donuts

You remember that commercial right? The one with the Middle Aged, Overweight, mustached Duncan Donut® maker? Let me set a rather shoddy stage for you. It’s dark. The alarm clock goes off. This same man turns on the light, sits up in bed and turns off the alarm and utters, “Time to make the donuts.” Almost in futility though; like words that are uttered during a sigh. Or like words spoken after hearing bad news. The Spanish language has a word and it’s my favorite word in their language that sums up the whole statement “Ugh. Time to make the donuts.” It’s ¡Ultraves!. I believe the literal translation is “Again?!?!” To get the right effect, this is can only be spoken by someone who really knows Spanish. It has to be spoken in a pseudo whine, with an upturn in tone.
“Hey, Colon.” (My name in Spanish. Kinda explains a lot doesn’t it?) ”I need you to go re-clean the toilets.” Colon spews, “¿¡Ultraves!?” (Colon Spews? That’s funny!)
I was just wondering, as I so often do, what other vocation has this same pointless and hopeless outlook that starts at the beginning of every day. I mean don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk into the office each morning, trotting to my own tune no one else can hear, looking into each cubicle like Mr. Rogers, saying “Good mornin Neighbor. Are you havin a good day? I knew you would!” I just want to know who else says, “Time to make the donuts.” either figuratively or in the case of the proctologist, literally.

I know who it’s not. It’s not the vendor I talked to today about work stuff. I asked him, since I didn’t recognize his number, where he was calling me from. He said Seattle. Over the holidays he had asked his girlfriend to marry him. They decided to “set-up shop” in Seattle. Fresh start, in a good way. They weren’t running from the law. He didn’t loathe sunshine in Santa Barbara. The two of them just thought, “while we can have a fresh start, let’s do it in Seattle”. I told him congratulations on the engagement, and he was taken aback. He paused for a second and said, “Well thank you. You know, out of all of the people that I’ve talked to today, you’re the only one who’s said that.” I told him that was shocking and his response was, “Manners is something that is oft times forgotten this day and age.” My friend and vendor is not a “Time to make the Donuts” kinda guy. My friend is a “Glass half full, grab the donuts by the horns” kinda guy. Congratulations Tomas! To you and your fiancé!
;-)